SURPRISE!

yay! exams are finally over!! my last exams for the next 3 yrs before uni. ok maybe i might have to study still if i DO MAKE IT into SISPEC then OCS. Its also gonna be my last week of hols from now till the 8th of April. Followed by a YEAR of attachment then n.s. I'm excited yet not looking forward to starting my attachment at the same time. all i ask is 1 month of hols instead of 1 week! =( oh wells, i really hope that my 1 week hol wont turn out bad.

To kick start the hols! its gonna be my graduation party tmr. i'm actually excited about it though i dont think its gonna be really spectacular, but i must really give my friend the credit for running a one woman show in organising this event. so i'm just gonna enjoy myself with my date. =) i'll be late as well, HAHAHAHA, because the free flow of drinks start at 8. and i'm gonna bring her out for a proper dinner before attending the party. As for the rest of the week, i can only see how it goes.

Before i end, i've actually planned to give rozanne a surprise at the airport with a bouquet of roses. I was so lucky to manage to get a bouquet of roses at the florist near my place because they were actually closed at 5 when i got back home at 6! but thank god! I called the lady and she was still there! but she was on her about to leave. she stayed behind for God knows what reason and was really kind to stay 15 mins longer so that i could get a bouquet of roses. Now that i've already got the roses, I'm so so so so so so frickin nervous and excited! Nervous because i really dont know how she will react when she sees me at the airport and i'm really afraid that she might not like the bouquet as the roses arent the really big ones she likes. Also because the decor ribbon is tied around the bouquet with a green raffia string! =( oh my oh my oh my! Not forgetting that her parents are gonna be there as well. i have totally nothing against them, but sometimes i think they might have a bad impression of me. I'M JUST SO AFRAID! SHITTES!!!! I need to cool down, "THERE'S NOW NO MORE CONDEMNATION FOR THOSE WHO ARE IN CHRIST. AMEN." However, despite all these fears taunting me, i'm really excited to see her. i guess the thought of seeing her lovely beautiful gorgeous face overcomes or overwhelmes most of the fears. Oh well, i really HOPE for the best!

AIIGHT! gonna have my dinner now, get changed and head down to the airport!

i'll be back. *peace.

more than a love song

I want to give to you
more than a love song can give,
more than a feeling like this,
more than a dim light upon the path you walk,
more than my words can explain,
more than the falling rain,
more than the sun shines upon your lovely face.

you're still very much special to me

Blasting: Jimmy Eat World - 23

You've been thinking, you've been afraid
I've been a fool
In so many ways
but I have changed my life
and i'm ready
If you thought you, might try to love me again

I'm not a saint
I'm just a man
Who had heaven and Earth
In the palm of his hand
but I threw it away

So I've been standing and waiting
For you to give me another chance
To love you just like before
and even better.

"No one else will have me like you do
No one else will have me, only you."

I was given someone wonderful
Someone who supernaturally brought out everything in me
Someone who changed me.
Someone who not only filled my gaps,
but taught me to be the MAN i ought to be.
Someone who saw perfection despite my many flaws.
Someone who gave me motivation and inspiration
Someone who made me fly
However,
i lost her.
So i fell on my knees
cos i've really fallen in love.

I wish I could share it.
I wish she,
if only for a moment
could feel that sense of guilt,
shame and regret i live with everyday.
Also the sense of hope
that she would come back to me.
That continues to be my wish
for as long as i live.

friends

i was reading becky's blog and her post was

"pretty girls have many friends. true or not?"

and she said that she could count with one hand the number of friends she have that she knows, who are jus a phone call away. you may think its sad or pathetic cos she's fugly, i'm sorry but she isnt. well lets not just focus on "pretty girls" but everyone. I remember when i was 16 or 17, yes the early ages of "friendster", and i was "wowed" with the hundreds of friends semiramis had because mine was way pathethic as compared with hers. I desired to be "popular" like her because i thought it would be great to be seen and known when you're hanging out with pals in town. Something like your typical highschool dream.

To cut a long story short, that desire i had when i was 16 or 17 has faded. Yes i do miss those times socialising and getting to know more people. However i realised that i really couldnt juggle my lifestyle with the vast number of friends that i made. Please to not be fooled by the "580 friends" that i have in my friendster. Majority of them are friends that i've made throughout my years in school and have yet catch up, least keep in contact. Everytime i see that i have 580 friends on my list, sometimes i wish i nv made so many friends cos i wont want to disappoint them. But then again, those friends came in different phases of my life...yup as the saying goes, "friends come and go". Especially friends who were once in their darkest moments but made use of you to get to know your friends and forget about you. scheming huh?

However, a part of me just refuses to believe that statement entirely. Although friends go, they leave behind an impact that they have made in my life. Most of my friends from ACS (barker) and my so called few months in ACJC, i hardly keep in touch. Except for a few ex-classmates and the brotherhood. And now SHATEC(DHM), i can say that i wont be in contact with most of them. Ironically, it happens in church too. I've made so many friends, hung out with different groups and they have been a great blessing and impacted my life in one way or another. The same goes to the brotherhood, most of them hv been a great blessing to me and impacted my life in different ways, both big and small. But recently i feel distant from the brotherhood. I dont know why, but...ahh. The S'ses, one of the closest group of friends i have made in church. Sigh, this sucks. It seems i have taken it all for granted all these while or i really just couldnt handle having so many friends.

I'm not perfect. I've made costly mistakes, resulting in losing friends before, not to mention a bestfriend/girlfriend whom i really love and treasure so much.

i think i'll be contented with keeping a small group of close friends/bros as i grow older.




"you dont really know what you've got until its gone."

freak cabbie

Met Ronald, Tabs and their friend Jeremy? for dinner at Al Ameen. Shared a cab with ron and tabs back home. Sigh..some how i felt this discomfort for being dropped off last. Firstly because its on the way to ron's place and secondly an accident wouldnt have happened to ME!

Yes, I had a car accident while i was on my way home in a cab!!! i had no idea what the hell was wrong with the driver. We were travelling along the stretch of road where the Diamond Industries Building is located. He was suppose to make a left turn but he went straight towards the divider instead. It was really obvious that he had to make a left turn as there were lane markings on the road leading him to a left and there were other cars making a left. Oh and not forgetting that there was a divider right INFRONT of him which was pretty damn obvious. Before he realised he had to make a bloody left turn, he hit the brakes too late (it WASNT a jam brake, just brake *rolls eyes and smacks forehead*), he hit the kerb, punctured the tyre and i realised that half the car crossed over to the other side of the road. OMG thank God no cars collided into the taxi i was in. All managed to stop in time. The ironic thing is the driver could tell me that there shouldnt be a left turn, it should go straight. I was like "wtf!? what do u mean by it should go straight, it has always been a left turn for a really long time!" He obviously wasnt paying attention to road conditions and situation. OH MY GAWWWD!! Cab drivers like him shouldnt even EXIST! My life was endangered because of his wreckless driving. Even before this accident, he nearly went head-on with another vehicle while making a right turn...and he could still curse and swear at the other driver. As IF it was not his fault. Anyway, i was so pissed at the cab driver, he was still trying to drive with a punctured tyre. WTH man. I repeatedly told him to stop at the side of the road but he wouldnt listen. He only decided to listen when the car was going so slowly.

shortly after he pulled over to the side, he got out of the car. GUESS WHAT?! His belt was unbuckled, zipper down and pants undone!!!!!!!!! OH MY GAWWWWWD!!!!!!!! I jus felt like taking my bag and run off without paying!!! What a freak!!! He was driving with his pants undone! And he was still walking around like that!!! SHIT...HELL KNOWS WTH HE DOES WHILE DRIVING. I asked him why the hell was his pants undone (dont ask me why i asked him THAT cos i dont know why i asked too!) and yknow what was his reason? I didnt really get what he was trying to say cos he was mumbling and didnt complete his sentence, but i guess he wanted to say that he had a tummy ache. Oh my...for some reason, he kept coming closer and closer to me as he was trying to explain himself..prob a fag. anyway, WHAT A LIE!!! If he had a tummy ache, loosening the belt and unbuckling his pants was enough. Its TOTALLY UNECCESSARY to undo the whole pants! FREAK FREAK FREAK! Initially, i didnt want to pay for the fare. In the end i decided i was only gonna pay him up to the point where he dropped Ronald and Tabs off. Thank God the accident occured near my place,about 400 metres away, if not i would have had to take a looooong walk home.

you belong to me...

See the pyramids along the Nile
Watch the sun rise
From the tropic isle
Just remember, darling
All the while
You belong to me
See the marketplace in old Algiers
Send me photographs and souvenirs
Just remember
When a dream appears
You belong to me

And I'll be so alone without you
Maybe you'll be lonesome too

Fly the ocean in a silver plane
See the jungle
When it’s wet with rain
Just remember
Till you're home again
You belong to me

And I'll be so alone without you
Maybe you'll be lonesome too

Fly the ocean in a silver plane
See the jungle
When it’s wet with rain
Just remember
Till you're home again
You belong to me

keep me hanging on so contagiously

Oohhh, when I'm around you I'm predictable
Cause I believe in loving you at first sight
I know it's crazy but I'm hoping to..
To take a hold of you

Oh you're everything I'm wanting
Come to think of it, I'm aching
On account of my transgression..
Will you welcome this confession?

i felt you like you were right beside me

This morning was the first time being conscious that i was talking to Her in my dreams.

I dreamt that she was talking over the phone with me, but i saw her face right before me. Suddenly, for some apparent reason, we got cut off. Slowly image of her face began to distant away and it was pitch black and i couldnt hear her voice. Not knowing whether she could hear me or was even still on the line, i began to speak these words which (i'm not going to reveal) i surprisingly still remember so clearly. I was in between a realm of a being in a dream and half awake. However it felt so real. I knew deep down in my heart that i meant every word i said though i was in stuck in two different worlds. Then i woke up with tears and shocked that it was a dream because it felt so real.

Weird eh?

But the truth is...



I really miss you.




If only you were beside me to see the sincerity in my eyes as i poured my heart out to you.

BWHORED!

1.Does anyone know your password?
- yes

2. What was the last thing you ordered
at McDonalds?
- McSpicy

3. Are you an emotional person?
- pretty much

4. Do you like your name?
- very much. =)

5. Do you believe in love at first sight?
- nope

6. Ever felt jealous of your friend?
- nope

7. What was the last thing you did?
- talked on the phone with Rozanne.

8. who's next to you?
- air

9. Who was the last person you ate with?
- sean and becky

10. What song are you listening to right now?
- the scientist by coldplay

11. How's the weather right now?
- nice and cool.

12. Last person you called today?
- Rozanne.

14. Last song you sang?
- So Contagious by Acceptance

15. Last time you danced?
- during cny

16. Lost a friendship over something stupid?
- unfortunately yes

18. Last thing you ate?
- sushi @ sakae

19. Been really depressed before?
- thats an understatement

20. Faked being sick to miss school?
- err...yar..

21. What time did you wake up today?
- 1.00pm

22. Current taste?
- ?????

23. Who is the person that posted this survey?
- yuri.

24. What are you wearing right now?
- t-shirt and joe boxers

25. Are you too shy to ask anyone out?
- nope but i just dont feel like asking.

26. What is the first thing you notice about the same sex?
- if he looks stucked up.

27.Where are you right now?
- home

28. What date and day is it?
- 4th march sunday

29. Did you go anywhere today?
- town for dinner

30. What did you do there?
- jap food

31. How old are you?
- 19 +

33. Are you mature or immature?
- both i guess?

34. Do you call your parents by their first name?
- no...thats just rude.

35. Are you an only child?
- no

36. Where do you go shopping?
- orchard

37. Do you like where you work?
- still schooling

38. Do you like books?
- not really.

39. Do you want to get married?
- yes.

40. To whom?
- she knows who she is.