Writing to Reach You

Every day I wake up and it's Sunday
Whatever's in my head won't go away
The radio is playing all the usual
And what's a wonderwall anyway

Because my inside is outside
My right side's on the left side
'Cos I'm writing to reach you
But I might never reach you
I long to teach you about you
But that's not you

It's good to know that you are home for Christmas
It's good to know that you are doing well
It's good to know that you all know I'm hurting
It's good to know I'm feeling not so well

Because my inside is outside
My right side's on the left side
'Cos I'm writing to reach you
But I might never reach you
I long to teach you about you
But that's not you
Do you know it's true
And that won't do

Maybe then tomorrow will be Monday
And whatever's in my head should go away
Still the radio keeps playing all the usual
And what's a wonderwall anyway

Because my inside is outside
My right side's on the left side
'Cos I'm writing to reach you
But I might never reach you
I long to teach you about you
But that's not you
Do you know it's true
And that won't do
You know it's you
I'm talking to

Travis - Writing To Reach You

i'm feeling it

silence is no longer golden to me...its beginning to be awkward.

I'm definitely feeling it..
and its not a good feeling.

Things have changed..

Its already the second week of school and it has been 2 weeks since she left. well, i can sense that things have definitely changed since then. Firstly, i hardly call her nowadays, therefore no more need to head down to little india to get calling cards so often ( i can get them cheaper there. =p). Its weird that i nv got sick and tired of talking on the phone with her almost every other day for the past few months. I felt like a kindergarten kid who was so in love with a girl that he would save money just to buy the girl he likes her fav candy everyday. Well i still am really drawn to her..its just different. I now feel like the kid who wants to buy her candy everyday but he knows she's getting bored of it. I really miss every single bit of the conversations, from the frequent burps, different subjects and topics which we are so open to each other, to the kisses exchanged over the phone before hanging up. It sucks to know that someone has taken my place. Secondly, i think we've kind of drifted a bit, not as close as what we were before but we're still close. The reason being said first, we hardly talk on the phone anymore. I feel that she has found someone who's over there in melbourne who can just be there for her, someone who shares similar characteristics, thoughts and habits like hers. Yes, i'm very sure they do talk on the phone every other day, meet during the weekends and maybe give her the attention she needs. You readers must be thinking that i'm jealous..."YAR DUH?". If not why the hell would i be pouring my heart and blogging abt this. Despite the feeling of insecurity living in me, another side tells me that i can do NOTHING about this. True. Cos i'm here and she's there and we are kinda on a break. Although she claims its temporary,we're still on a break..which means she can do whatever and wants and vice versa. However,yes, we still do love each other. Ironic isnt it? Exchanging those 3 special words feels somehow a lil weird now, BUT i do love her very much! Its hard to keep it inside and get choked. I just dont know if she feels the same for the other guy whom she's really close with. Well maybe she's drawing closer to him. Am i thinking too much? If u think i am..i'm telling u I CANT HELP IT! Its the other way round now, i'm spending less time with her on the phone and vice versa. I dont wanna lose her to someone else. =( Lastly, she has changed. She's getting more hardcore and i dont want her to..thats all i have to say.

Rugby season's starting in a week, dont think i'll get to play this season but i'll def work my way up to play next season. =) I need to work out and build up mass..i'm too small to be in the forward pack. The injuries, although minor ones, are showing signs that i'm jus weak. =( I'm beginning to feel a lil left out in sch. I've failed 2 papers so far and i'll probably fail more. I was the only one in class..maybe the only one in the whole intake who failed catering science. 78! Wtf?! Its really embarrassing...my gpa is already so low. Sigh, i really need to make somthing out of this semester. GOD I NEED YOU! S.O.S!!

MORE PICTURES! =))

Having a hard time choosing

I had to solve a puzzle too!

The last 2 packages. KOO and NEH.

FINALLY! Look at the amount of papers used.

Credit goes to (from left to right clockwise): sexysem,saucybecky and sassylynn. =)

And the guys too: saikobrandonwong and shittysean =) 78!

someday you will find me caught beneath a landslide

My weekend was great!! Had a belated birthday dinner cum reunion with the "S"ses, (SexySem,SassyLynn,SaucyBecky,SuaveBren(thatsme!), ShittySean and SaikoBwong), at sem's place. Food was great! We had pasta and potato salad and sparkling wine to go along with it. Awesome shiiiit! The atmosphere was great..there was so much of catching up to do therefore everyone was talking. After dinner, it was time for my bday surprise. It was a really unique and interesting. The girls actually took the time to fold 10 layers of papers to make it look like an package. Guess what?! there wasnt just one package...there were 18 of them!! Here's the catch...my bday present was hidden in one of them and i had to drink a shot of vodka for every wrong package i open! OMG! I drank 17 shots because i opened all the wrong packages except for the last one ( which had my present in it). 78 78 78!!!!! Yes i know...i'm fucking amazing.

My present was hidden in the blue NEH. WTF right?! Why cant it be "Pussy" or "do not pick me!". Hahaha...but it was really fun. They got me a TOPMAN card which had $40 worth of value in it. COOL EH?! Btw..thats THE ONLY present i got for my bday, besides the cash i got from my dad. Yea..its the only one. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR THE PRESENT GUYS!!! =) anyway, we all continued drinking after watching me reap off packages, drinking shots and a good laughing session. We played card games too! Taught them how to play kent...and it was so messy cos most of us were abit tipsy. HAHAHA...it was really fun. We played a game similar to that too...which was just as fun. However, it was getting late and most of us were getting really tired. I headed down to kayu to meet thebrotherhood for awhile before heading home to sleep.

"S"ses! thanks for dinner! Thanks for the present! Thanks for everything! It was perfect and awwweeeessssoooomeee!! i really enjoyed myself. Lets meet up more often pls! *love =))


Saturday was pretty boring, woke up at abt 1 and lazed around at home till evening. Went to the Singapore Cricket Club for The Captain's Cocktail Event which is organised for the ruggers to mingle and have a great time before the season starts. I was supposed to wear a dark coloured tie...and the only dark coloured tie i have is an ACS tie. -_- yeap..i wore that to the event. It really feels good to wear anything with the ACS emblem on it..anyway ACS forever. =) Food and drinks were great! So was the music. =) There was a buffet counter with grilled chicken,grilled beef and potato wedges....free flow of heineken beer, (thank god it wasnt tiger, i hate it) and red wine. As for the music, this other english man and i too turns to have our ipods plugged into the sound system. We were playing songs by Oasis, U2, Cold Play and other British bands...not forgetting cool hip hop and rnb beats too. hurhur. When "wonderwall", champagne supernova" and "dont look back in anger"by oasis was playing...EVERYONE WAS SINGING ALONG! Oh my...the atmosphere was just AWWWWEESOOOMEEE! A few of us, including me *ahem*, were singing to "wonderwall" and "champagne supernova". We were all so so high and singing at the top of our lungs. I'll nv forget that incredible night of singing. The fellow ruggers and a few milfs applauded to my singing.. Not bad eh?! HAHAHAHA! I was so high....and its a really good song to sing to when u're high. how can i describe this? there was so much feeling put in while i was singing those songs. There was only someone i was thinking of then. Sigh. Oh wells...i feel theres really no point looking bad in anger. why? cos it only makes me unhappy,sad,irritated and bothered by all the things i've been seeing lately. I can do nothing about it except to hope that nothing's going on. ANYWAY...i went to dxo with a few guys after the event to meet some of the hockey girls from the club. didnt club...was jus sitting outside having a beer while watching soocer repeats. Bumped into brandonwong's HOTmum and a few other friends of hers. ALL my friends thought she's a MILF. damn right she is one. I was reprimanded for caling her aunty. she wants me to call her sister. WTH?!?!? ROFLOLMAO! Imagine calling ur friend's mum "sister".....hmmmmm...weird eh? But i got a bucket of 8 beer bottles from her to share among my friends for calling her sister. LIKE WOW! HAHAHAHA! Watched the 3rd & 4th placing game between Germany and Portugal. Yea...germany won...but i was too tired to show my excitment for the match. Reached home at 7 am...cos mervyn and i didnt want to spend money on cab..therefore we decided to sleep on the bench by the singapore river for 1 hr till the train station opened.


Sunday felt like rain to me, it was really cloudy while i was getting changed for church and it poured like crazy the moment i stepped out of the house. I had to attend 4th service cos apparently my bro tried to wake me up for 3rd...well yea he failed to do so. Thought i was going to attend service on my own...BUT THANK GOD wan hua msged to ask if i was going for 4th. So yea...took a cab and picked her up cos it was on the way and it was RAINING. 4th service started 1 hr LATE. wow..pastor preached an extra 1 hr for 3rd service. We went to the overflow room to sit with sem,sean and tiff. Service was great as usual...but i was having a freaking hangover and i didnt have lunch. Therefore i wasnt paying much attention. Had dinner with wanhua at some chinese restaurant at marina square...i had beef noodles and we shared shanghai dumplings (xiao long bao)..which was alright. Nothing beats the original shanghai dumplings i had in shanghai itself! =) After dinner...i decided to do a lil bit of shopping at Topman cos i have the card which i got as my bday present and a 20% voucher which wanhua gave me. Bought a t-shirt which had the word "Topfather" on it and a pair of jeans...and i only had to pay $45 cash. =) I really wanted to get a pair of jeans i like from zara but there were only sizes left for really FAT ppl...like 36 38 and 40?! i'm a size 32. Oh wells...after that...we had ben and jerry's! Had 2 scoops ALL FOR MYSELF...one cookie dough choc chip and one choc fudge. HAHA! Hmmm........cookie dough choc chip is also someone's fav. Almost everything i do reminds me of that special someone whom i dearly miss so so much. Have u ever wondered whether that person is missing u jus as much as how much u miss them? Or whether they even think abt u?

Went home...ate more food. watched the world cup finals. I really wanted france to win..but oh wells...they jus werent lucky with the penalties. Woke up at abt 3..received a couple of msges..made a couple of phone calls regarding the grp project. Then i went down to meet mervyn at suntec to hang around before trng started. Trng today was good...its getting better and tougher cos season is starting in 2 weeks. Ok...its 2 am..and i need to sleep.


"Isnt it a cliche when someone tells u that he/she tells you that they will love you no matter what happens? What do they mean when they say "no matter what happens"? This line is often heard when someone is about to die or lose a limb...or in some cases, when they wont get to see each other for a period of time. Forgive me for being very Blunt here. What will that meaning of "loving no matter what happens" become when he/she is dating someone else, fooling around or screwing around during that period of time of abscence? Well..sad to say all that was said would have lost its meaning...and its just as good as giving him/her a sense of false hope and empty promises. Why? Because action speaks louder than words."

-bren

happy 19th to me.

yes. A Blessed Happy 19th Birthday to me!

Just wanna say a BIG thank you to my beloved friends who took the hazzle to send me their well wishes via sms. Though it was just a msg..it def made me smile. =) For those we didnt, its ok. God loves you. =) I also wanna thank Leon and Nicole for taking time off just to spend time with me on my 19th. We didnt do anything spectacular, went down to town to drool at the new macbooks and check out the headphones..i'm thinking of replacing the old set of stock ipod earphones. By then leon was a bit hungry and wanted to get some snacks at far east...and then sat down at BK and talked abt stuff till abt 7 plus. With some more time to kill, nicole and i went to Tangs to window shop. Where as for leon, he met rebs and then headed to Mad Jacks at bukit timah for Aussie Fish and Chips for dinner. I really had so much time to kill before my parents picked me up to go for dinner...therefore my last stop was Borders...for Bored ppl like me. hmmm.........ooooook. Dad came at 830 and we headed to orchard hotel for dinner. Dinner was good..not that fantastic though. DESSERT was awesome! Chocolate fountain with mushmallows and fruits. YUM!

Well...this birthday wasnt really fun...and it wasnt that boring either. I guess the company of Leon and Nicole and dinner with my family made it better..and not forgetting those who sent me their well wishes. thanks guys. =)

Things have been really different lately...and i've been really thinking lately. Even when i'm around with friends...or when i'm school during lessons..i'll occasionally drift into deep thoughts abt the world of my own, which isnt as bright and colourful like what it used to be for the past few months. Sigh...anyway, i've lost the mood to blog and lost my train of thoughts. Its late and i'm sleepy. good night.

You and me
A little different
Though we tried to stay the same
It never leaves
And when it changes it is still a waiting game

I wait for a lonely breath
I wait to surface from this death
Wait for the light to come
And take away these images I get
In my head

More than ever
I need to feel you
More than ever
I see the real you

You are me
A worst disaster would be waking up alone
Now we're free
We're drifting out
Like all the ones we didn't know
I wait for a silent tear
I wait for things to disappear
Wait for the ground to stop moving underneath my only fear
If I lose you I don't know

More than ever
I need to feel you
It's all around
More than ever
I see the real you
And it's around

Everything, everything
We've had
Out of sight out of mind
Given that
What I see when I dream
Hurts like hell and back

Waiting game - Yellowcard

i'll jus bite my tongue and hold back my tears.

we drive tonight,
and you are by my side.
We're talking about our lives,
like we've known each other forever.
the time flies by,
with the sound of your voice.
its close to paradise,
with the end surely near.
and if i could only stop the car
and hold onto you,
and never let go (and never let go)
i'll never let go (i'll never let go)
as we round the corner
to your house
you turned to me and said,
"i'll be going through withdrawal of you
for this one night we have spent."
and, i want to speak these words
but i guess i'll just bite my tongue,
and accept "someday, somehow"
as the words that we'll hang from.

and i (i..), i don't want to speak these words.
'cause i ('cause i..), i don't want to make things any worse.
and i (i..), i don't want to speak these words.
'cause i, i don't want to make things any worse.

why does tonight, have to end?
why don't we hit restart,
and pause it at our favorite parts.
we'll skip the goodbyes.
if i had it my way,
i'd turn the car around and runaway,
just you and i.

and i (i..), i don't want to speak these words.
'cause i ('cause i..), i don't want to make things any worse. (any worse)
and i (i..), i don't want to speak these words
'cause i, i don't want to make things
and i, i don't want to make things any worse