Its time to be the better man
after having a good talk and bonding session with ariel over teh peng (iced tea) talking about my complicated life and cars, i've more or less am able to see things in a different spectrum. I guess i am wrong, but not entirely, for being spiteful and inflicting hurt with the words i say towards a certain someone. No doubt i did feel good at the spur of the moment after pouring out my thoughts and feelings. However, after given unforeseen consequences and outcomes by ariel based on his past experiences, i realise that it isnt really worth it at all in the long run. i mean, why bother trying to force someone who doesnt want to be with you especially when you're already at a losing end because she has already decided to be with someone else? Like the saying goes, it takes two hands to clap. If the other party doesnt want to make it work out between the two of you, there's only so much you can do. I guess there's really nothing in it for me to be spiteful and hurtful as i still wont get her to see the light and the desired outcome i want. No point counting the pennies in pointing out wrong doings. Even IF she wants to work things out, i dont think i would wanna get back together at this point of time because that level of trust is just no longer there. I'll tell myself whats done is done and just keep my thoughts and feelings to myself even if it hurts like fuck. I dont wanna regret saying the things i've said. Therefore i would like to apologise for all the spiteful things i've said. I'm sorry. However, there are reasons behind for being spiteful which i will not mention.
I guess its almost the same feeling as having to sell away a car which brings lots of sentimental values to you, like my dad's old Volvo 850R. My dream car. Damn...that car rides fine, its swift, handles corners pretty well, except that its a bit twitchy and over all a very nice car to be in. (no offence to you women out there! its just an analogy that some of us guys use to see different perspectives.) yes...so as i was saying, women are almost like cars. Ranging from the Horse Carriages to the Red Hot Ferrari. Well lets say my so called "flings" in the past are the horse carriages. Later on in life, i had my first serious relationship, which is PROBABLY like the example of my dad's old Volvo 850R that has many sentimental values? Rides fine and well for the first few years and of course there were minor problems here and there which could be fixed...and slowly as it aged bigger problems came in and it could still be fixed, but the same problems kept cropping up and it led to bigger issues because there probably wasnt enough given time to assess the crucial problem because we were busy trying to solve the smaller ones. SO i guess my dad couldnt really continue footing the expensive maintenance as much as he would love to keep the car and hand it over to me to use, therefore he decided to just sell it away. It was a very emotional moment for me to see my dad handover the keys to someone else...because i just love that car so fucking much. However, i'm really determined to get that car, its just a matter of time.
Ok what i'm TRYING to say is that there are lots of nice cars, or in this context, women out there. Although they are nice and exotic like the Ferraris or Lamboghinis, sometimes they are just cars which are nice to rent for a day and thats about it. OK FUCK i seem like a player here, but i'm NOT! If you can afford it the by all means. just an example to show that these cars may not fit your personality or practicality besides the mere reason of showing off your wealth. Nothing wrong with that though. So maybe thats not the kind of car for you. So how about the VW Golf GTI? which is small and nimble with lots of gusto under the hood. A very practical car which is good for taking it to shopping with a fair amount of space to put your shopping bags and a swift car which can take you to places fast, depending on the way you handle it of course or you might just end up dead. Plus maintenance expenses arent that high. Good deal eh?
I guess its good to see which one fits you the best. Of course you wont find one which can completely describe yourself and meet all your requirements, most of it will do, with a lil bit of compromise with the flaws. I'm not saying that the 850R, or she, doesnt meet most of my requirements. I love her to bits, the looks, how those eyes look at me in the eye and i feel a strong connection with her, how the curves catches my attention when it swifts past me, the engine (personality), the comfort, the handling characteristics, though sometimes when being pushed above its limit, it doesnt really stick to wear the wheel turns as it gets a lil out of hand, but swerves back almost immediately when there's ample grip from the good pair of tyres and nice rims. oh and not forgetting the lovely exhaust, especially the orchestra it creates. *ahem*
After pulling up a pretty long and boring analogy, as much as i would like things to go my way, i guess i'll take the step of being the better man and take the greatest and hardest step ever to let go of the one i love the most although there will be times i'll feel a lil emo or damn fucking emo, because love hurts.
If i knew you were an organ grinder, i wouldnt have given you my heart.
. . .
I guess its almost the same feeling as having to sell away a car which brings lots of sentimental values to you, like my dad's old Volvo 850R. My dream car. Damn...that car rides fine, its swift, handles corners pretty well, except that its a bit twitchy and over all a very nice car to be in. (no offence to you women out there! its just an analogy that some of us guys use to see different perspectives.) yes...so as i was saying, women are almost like cars. Ranging from the Horse Carriages to the Red Hot Ferrari. Well lets say my so called "flings" in the past are the horse carriages. Later on in life, i had my first serious relationship, which is PROBABLY like the example of my dad's old Volvo 850R that has many sentimental values? Rides fine and well for the first few years and of course there were minor problems here and there which could be fixed...and slowly as it aged bigger problems came in and it could still be fixed, but the same problems kept cropping up and it led to bigger issues because there probably wasnt enough given time to assess the crucial problem because we were busy trying to solve the smaller ones. SO i guess my dad couldnt really continue footing the expensive maintenance as much as he would love to keep the car and hand it over to me to use, therefore he decided to just sell it away. It was a very emotional moment for me to see my dad handover the keys to someone else...because i just love that car so fucking much. However, i'm really determined to get that car, its just a matter of time.
Ok what i'm TRYING to say is that there are lots of nice cars, or in this context, women out there. Although they are nice and exotic like the Ferraris or Lamboghinis, sometimes they are just cars which are nice to rent for a day and thats about it. OK FUCK i seem like a player here, but i'm NOT! If you can afford it the by all means. just an example to show that these cars may not fit your personality or practicality besides the mere reason of showing off your wealth. Nothing wrong with that though. So maybe thats not the kind of car for you. So how about the VW Golf GTI? which is small and nimble with lots of gusto under the hood. A very practical car which is good for taking it to shopping with a fair amount of space to put your shopping bags and a swift car which can take you to places fast, depending on the way you handle it of course or you might just end up dead. Plus maintenance expenses arent that high. Good deal eh?
I guess its good to see which one fits you the best. Of course you wont find one which can completely describe yourself and meet all your requirements, most of it will do, with a lil bit of compromise with the flaws. I'm not saying that the 850R, or she, doesnt meet most of my requirements. I love her to bits, the looks, how those eyes look at me in the eye and i feel a strong connection with her, how the curves catches my attention when it swifts past me, the engine (personality), the comfort, the handling characteristics, though sometimes when being pushed above its limit, it doesnt really stick to wear the wheel turns as it gets a lil out of hand, but swerves back almost immediately when there's ample grip from the good pair of tyres and nice rims. oh and not forgetting the lovely exhaust, especially the orchestra it creates. *ahem*
After pulling up a pretty long and boring analogy, as much as i would like things to go my way, i guess i'll take the step of being the better man and take the greatest and hardest step ever to let go of the one i love the most although there will be times i'll feel a lil emo or damn fucking emo, because love hurts.
If i knew you were an organ grinder, i wouldnt have given you my heart.
. . .
posted by brendan at
11:41 PM
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