no longer the same in your eyes
i've been thinking to myself, after all these years being a teenager, making persecutions and judgemental remarks after hearing about how some guys out there have been a bastard and a jerk to girls...least to mention their gfs or spouses...i've realised that i'm not so different compared to them after making a mistake myself. although i just found it trivial, not really important and not worth mentioning (no i wasnt having an affair), i've broken one of the basic and most fundamental foundations which keeps a relationship strong..which is TRUST. some may have this mentality where sometimes its better to just keep quiet about it although one may think its not important (somethings are better left unsaid), or you have those who think differently and strongly believes that no matter what happens you've gotta be truthful. well..the latter was an agreement we both had..and i broke it. it was unintentional but i did.
so that makes me one of them eh? to think i'm different, special, unique, a lady's man and etc...well yea i WAS...but sadly not anymore. Not only have i disappointed myself, but i've let down the one who i so dearly love, who saw me that way too. That makes me even more...sour about myself. No i'm NOT gonna just degrade myself just because of this, i know i'm much better because of Christ in Me. Thank God for His grace and mercy towards me...i've been given another chance.
Work and school hasnt been that great either. condemnation keeps attacking me from all angles. again, i thank God for the fact that He's for me and not against me. I'm not excelling in school..there are people tell me straight in the face that i'm "hopeless." Well, i'm not because i have a living God who is bigger than the idols they worship. Therefore, i dont really give a damn about what others say or think negative about me, because i have a God who never gives up on me even though i may give up on myself sometimes. I think being conscious about how much He loves me despite my flaws, gives me the drive to walk down this journey of life. Not forgetting the people who evolves around me, add life to my world and loves me, my family, my close friends and her.
love,
brendan
"Why do we fall? So that we can pick ourselves up again."
so that makes me one of them eh? to think i'm different, special, unique, a lady's man and etc...well yea i WAS...but sadly not anymore. Not only have i disappointed myself, but i've let down the one who i so dearly love, who saw me that way too. That makes me even more...sour about myself. No i'm NOT gonna just degrade myself just because of this, i know i'm much better because of Christ in Me. Thank God for His grace and mercy towards me...i've been given another chance.
Work and school hasnt been that great either. condemnation keeps attacking me from all angles. again, i thank God for the fact that He's for me and not against me. I'm not excelling in school..there are people tell me straight in the face that i'm "hopeless." Well, i'm not because i have a living God who is bigger than the idols they worship. Therefore, i dont really give a damn about what others say or think negative about me, because i have a God who never gives up on me even though i may give up on myself sometimes. I think being conscious about how much He loves me despite my flaws, gives me the drive to walk down this journey of life. Not forgetting the people who evolves around me, add life to my world and loves me, my family, my close friends and her.
love,
brendan
"Why do we fall? So that we can pick ourselves up again."
posted by brendan at
1:00 AM
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